Connections

I wouldn't say I had a "typical" army spouse experience thus far.  I don't feel like I have anyway, but I'm not sure there is a definition of a "typical" army spouse experience.

My experience, so far, entails

-marrying later in life, far after college, or even high school
-not living near an army post until I lived ON an army post
-living on an army post that is about 1000 sq. miles on an island in the Mississippi River.  It's a bit small compared to most other posts, and the civilian employees FAR outweigh the active duty service members.
-of the active duty population, there is a high proportion of senior ranking officials.

I know a lot of spouses who have known their military husbands (usually officers) since college and were married shortly after, and sometimes before, they were commissioned.  They have been a part of their husbands' career from Day 1.  (I don't mean to leave out Army husbands and focus on Army wives, I just haven't met any recently with wives who are still active duty.)
I met John when we were both well into our careers.  (something I have had to put on hold, myself)  I never lived in the same town as he did.  We opted to commute back and forth from Denver to Colorado Springs when he was stationed there.  I visited, we socialized, but a lot of the time was reserved for spending time together.  I was never a part of his company's FRG when he was in command.  His 1SG's wife handled that.  Apparently it was a high drama filled FRG.  But drama runs high during deployments anyway.
I was in a different state when he was the CG's Aide de Camp.  It was apparently better that I wasn't around because, with his schedule, neither was he.

So I'm new to Army life in general.  And now I live on post.  Oh, and by the way, I learned a little too late that you stop and stand and face the flag during retreat.  Do you know why I never knew?  With the civilian population so large here, almost NO ONE does this.  People don't even pull over on the road.  I had no clue until I was with John and he got out of the car and stood at attention to face the flag.

So my point, (I'm getting to it, I promise), is that it's harder than I thought it would be to make connections.  Don't get me wrong, I have loved being with my husband and getting acquainted with the idea that it's normal to see each other every day.  But I have few friends.  I have gotten involved with the FRG and the Welcome Club. (formally the Women's Club.  However a new lady general is coming to town and her husband is one of the aforementioned Army husbands and gets very involved in the spouses groups.)  I have friends I go to lunch with.  I have neighbors that I wave and chat with.  I have neighbors that I run in the door when I see them coming, too.  But I don't really have anyone in a similar stage in life, in a similar stage of an army career, that I can relate to.

But in this community, it's been tough.  I have heard it referred to as "inbred."  People are born here, they go to school here, they get a job with John Deere or the Arsenal (generation after generation works here), and they die here.  Everyone knows everyone else.  The people that change are the active duty military.
The FRG is tiny.  People are reluctant to get involved.  Most people are older.  (The Command Surgeon's wife runs it.  It's commanded by a CPT but the wife of a COL is running our FRG.)  I also hear rumors of spouse and family services here being a shadow of what you will find at other posts.  The civilians are very much comfortable with their own processes and aren't used to dealing with active duty issues.

I have made very good connections with some generals' wives.  But they don't socialize regularly unless it's with each other.  Or within the realms of the social groups.  I don't blame them.  It seems to follow a "that's the way that it is" notion.  It wouldn't really matter if they did anyway...I wouldn't be able to relate to them in the way that I'm seeking.

So.  Back in March, a new CPT showed up to take command of the company on post.  The company our FRG is attached to.  He and his wife are younger, have no kids, and are just funny and cool people.  (Others we have met in this criteria have a touch of whackadoo in them.)  We hung out with them a few times in social situations and had a blast.

And now we're moving.

And there's also the small annoying fact that when it's not a social situation, the good CPT will address me as "Ma'am".  Always in front of John, who outranks him.  For one event we had, we were joking around in the preparation process, and then John arrived and then he started calling me "Ma'am."

"Hey, do you have the tape?"
"Right here, Ma'am."

It's a sign of respect, I know.  It's more of a sign of respect for John's rank, I know.

But it still drives me up a wall.  Luckily I can still easily chat with his wife without risking being called "Ma'am."  hehehehe

It will be interesting to get into a military community at the Battalion level again.  For me, anyway.  I need to experience being on a more active duty centered post.   Meet more spouses.  Make some new friends.  Connect.

Germany holds lots of adventures for us.