Library fears

I have a confession to make.

I have been afraid of libraries since my senior year in high school.
It's not a pathological fear, or even very reasonable.  And I will explain why.

My senior year English class rocked.  I had Mr. Stough, who was and remains one of my all time favorite teachers.  One project he set forth was to pick a topic from a list he passed around and write a 10 page paper on this topic.  This project was completely optional, but it would set your grade back one letter grade if you opted out of it.  If you have a B in the class, and you do well, you could get an A.  If you do poorly, you will keep your B.  If you don't turn it in, you drop to a C.

He introduced this project at the beginning of the semester and said it was not due until the end.  At the beginning of the semester, I was all pumped to get things done!  I picked a topic off of the list, and set out to prepare.  I believe my topic was King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.  It was something I didn't know much about, even in legend form, and wanted to know more about.  And  set out to our local library and checked out two books on the topic.

And then my senior year really started.
And I put things off.
And I put things off even more.
I never. even. cracked. either. book.

And then I just decided to take the grade cut.  I walked back to talk to Mr. Stough, who calculated my grade.  It was excellent.  An A.  Taking off points for not turning in the paper, I still had an A.  BUT, the deal was that I had to accept a lower grade, so he bumped me to a B.  I still liked him though.  He was efficient, funny and fair.

ANYWAY, I finally, sheepishly, and under the cover of darkness, returned the books I had checked out via the book drop.
For I had never bothered to recheck them out.  I just kept them.  I was terrified of the late fees.
And ever since then, I felt a sincere anxiety when going into my local library, afraid they would recognize me, throw me against the wall, and shake me upside down until all of my money shook loose to the floor.  They would then inform me that I owed $700 more in compounded late fees.

This, of course, never happened.  I would occasionally scurry in and out to pick up some tax forms, somehow feeling successful in "getting away with it".  They hadn't caught me yet.

I felt OK with my university libraries.  They, obviously, didn't know the scoundrel I was and issued me license to use their facility whilst enrolled in school.

But the local libraries throughout the Denver Metro Area...they all talked to each other.  My palms sweat whenever I walk in, daring to use public computers or meet with a community group, but never daring to check out another book or resource, hesitant to talk to a librarian in case my picture was on a "Most Wanted" poster behind the desk.  I'm convinced I'm still in their system, $10,000 of compounded late fees later.

However, I never did receive a statement.

Anyway, the Army has a network of libraries throughout Germany.  Oh My, how far library technology has come!  We can check out our own books using the simple computer!  After visiting the library here on post, and successfully creating an account, I checked out a book.  And my fear diminished.

However, I do have a new last name.  Maybe a new alias is all I need to start enjoying the simple pleasures of a library once more.