It's a cool, windy, sometimes rainy, gloomy, dark, grey day after a windy, cold, rainy, thunderous, snuggly and fall night....
I'm going to claim I didn't sleep well. I was afraid that our new bird feeder would be swept off it's hook and we would wake up to a mess of bird seed and broken glass.
But, it's also dark and stormy.
And I have a belly full of thai food.
That should be enough to warrant a nap, yes?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wedding stuff
Yes. More wedding stuff. Tidbits just come back to me at odd times during random days.
Joel - my big brother - was very sweet in his big brother way during wedding weekend. But we'll start his story earlier in the year when he came up for Grandma's 90th birthday party while we were looking at old childhood photos when we were growing up. Some from way before I was born. I commented that it was weird to glimpse into a family before I was a part of it. I had only known one family while Joel got to experience the entire family growth process in all its stages. First he had a brother, then he had a sister. He commented that he didn't really remember Jason's birth, but he very clearly remembered when I came home and how cool it was watching me grow up as a kid. (insert "awe" here)
During the family/Sunday/post-wedding/Father's Day/birthday brunch, he made some mental notes. While my brothers and I each got married in a different month and year (October 2002, November 2005 and June 2010) we all got married one week apart. The 5th, the 12th and the 19th. He also mentioned we all got married at the same age, although I just barely made it at 6 hours before my birthday.
But the thing I recall most from time to time was my dad. My dad and I, like a lot of fathers and daughters, have a very special and close bond. I know he was happy for me and my marriage, and I knew there would be emotion in him on my wedding day, but I was not prepared for how much. And I was not prepared for him to display it. He kept himself together well, considering. I even told him as much.
I said "You're doing very well, you know." He replied "No, I'm not. I'm barely keeping it together. I had to leave the room during that damn 'I Loved Her First' song."
I knew it was going to be OK. He knew it was going to be OK. But we were both startled by the process of it being OK. He literally let me go and I walked away. It was a poignant moment that lasted all evening, culminating in his toast to us.
I discussed the toast with my SIL (Joel's wife) and while most people were paying attention to Dad, or looking at my reaction to Dad, Jennifer was looking at Joel. Joel was looking at his daughter Shea. He had watched me grow up, but didn't have to give me away like he would have to give her away. For they have a special dad and daughter bond too.
I just feel lucky to experience so much love. That's what I take away most from my wedding day was all the love in the room. It was such a great day! Although...I still can't figure out who requested "Gold Digger". It was funny, yes...but really? Honestly, I didn't mind it as much as I minded "The Chicken Dance"! I couldn't argue too much though as it was my niece who requested it.
At least everyone had fun.
:)
Joel - my big brother - was very sweet in his big brother way during wedding weekend. But we'll start his story earlier in the year when he came up for Grandma's 90th birthday party while we were looking at old childhood photos when we were growing up. Some from way before I was born. I commented that it was weird to glimpse into a family before I was a part of it. I had only known one family while Joel got to experience the entire family growth process in all its stages. First he had a brother, then he had a sister. He commented that he didn't really remember Jason's birth, but he very clearly remembered when I came home and how cool it was watching me grow up as a kid. (insert "awe" here)
During the family/Sunday/post-wedding/Father's Day/birthday brunch, he made some mental notes. While my brothers and I each got married in a different month and year (October 2002, November 2005 and June 2010) we all got married one week apart. The 5th, the 12th and the 19th. He also mentioned we all got married at the same age, although I just barely made it at 6 hours before my birthday.
But the thing I recall most from time to time was my dad. My dad and I, like a lot of fathers and daughters, have a very special and close bond. I know he was happy for me and my marriage, and I knew there would be emotion in him on my wedding day, but I was not prepared for how much. And I was not prepared for him to display it. He kept himself together well, considering. I even told him as much.
I said "You're doing very well, you know." He replied "No, I'm not. I'm barely keeping it together. I had to leave the room during that damn 'I Loved Her First' song."
I knew it was going to be OK. He knew it was going to be OK. But we were both startled by the process of it being OK. He literally let me go and I walked away. It was a poignant moment that lasted all evening, culminating in his toast to us.
I discussed the toast with my SIL (Joel's wife) and while most people were paying attention to Dad, or looking at my reaction to Dad, Jennifer was looking at Joel. Joel was looking at his daughter Shea. He had watched me grow up, but didn't have to give me away like he would have to give her away. For they have a special dad and daughter bond too.
I just feel lucky to experience so much love. That's what I take away most from my wedding day was all the love in the room. It was such a great day! Although...I still can't figure out who requested "Gold Digger". It was funny, yes...but really? Honestly, I didn't mind it as much as I minded "The Chicken Dance"! I couldn't argue too much though as it was my niece who requested it.
At least everyone had fun.
:)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Oh the drama
So. On every post, and usually within every unit, there is an FRG.
Family Readiness Group.
FRG's are good things in theory. They support the family during deployments, although, more and more often are becoming more active in everyday life. To provide community and support and well-being to all.
With community comes drama. Not everyone will get along, and no one expects everyone to get along.
And then you just have annoying people. Unfortunately, the military does not discriminate against the annoying as it would be hard to determine based on individual biases.
But what is annoying to me is an unorganized group attempting to host events. Such as our very own FRG. We had extra planning meetings. We had maps. We lacked communication, shopping lists, orientation to detail, and overall competence.
In my opinion.
I had to giggle at myself this morning because I found this email in my inbox. From me to John.
"Do we have any rings with which to toss, like for a ring toss?"
That is literally all I wrote to him on my blackberry. My game station was a pumpkin ring toss. And no one thought to purchase or acquire rings. Or task me to do it. I checked the PX (Post Exchange = store on post. ours is tiny) for toy rings, or even rope so we could "lasso" the pumpkins. Nada. It was 5 minutes 'til starting time.
John ran home and made rings by cutting out the centers of three paper plates glued together. They still didn't work well, and the kids got bored when they learned they really couldn't win and walked away.
LAME.
There was MUCH more drama involved but this really isn't the place to gossip. I generally like the ladies (and gentleman) I worked with, I just did not enjoy working with all of them.
When I discuss these issues with more "seasoned" army wives, they almost all agree. All FRGs are like this at every post. I was never involved in John's FRG (when he was in command) because I was in Denver. He never even told me about the meetings because (I learn now) that he wanted to shield me from it. Not the FRG perse, but all the accompanying drama.
I'll probably still go to meetings (when I can) but I'm afraid I won't be able to participate any further in this one.
Family Readiness Group.
FRG's are good things in theory. They support the family during deployments, although, more and more often are becoming more active in everyday life. To provide community and support and well-being to all.
With community comes drama. Not everyone will get along, and no one expects everyone to get along.
And then you just have annoying people. Unfortunately, the military does not discriminate against the annoying as it would be hard to determine based on individual biases.
But what is annoying to me is an unorganized group attempting to host events. Such as our very own FRG. We had extra planning meetings. We had maps. We lacked communication, shopping lists, orientation to detail, and overall competence.
In my opinion.
I had to giggle at myself this morning because I found this email in my inbox. From me to John.
"Do we have any rings with which to toss, like for a ring toss?"
That is literally all I wrote to him on my blackberry. My game station was a pumpkin ring toss. And no one thought to purchase or acquire rings. Or task me to do it. I checked the PX (Post Exchange = store on post. ours is tiny) for toy rings, or even rope so we could "lasso" the pumpkins. Nada. It was 5 minutes 'til starting time.
John ran home and made rings by cutting out the centers of three paper plates glued together. They still didn't work well, and the kids got bored when they learned they really couldn't win and walked away.
LAME.
There was MUCH more drama involved but this really isn't the place to gossip. I generally like the ladies (and gentleman) I worked with, I just did not enjoy working with all of them.
When I discuss these issues with more "seasoned" army wives, they almost all agree. All FRGs are like this at every post. I was never involved in John's FRG (when he was in command) because I was in Denver. He never even told me about the meetings because (I learn now) that he wanted to shield me from it. Not the FRG perse, but all the accompanying drama.
I'll probably still go to meetings (when I can) but I'm afraid I won't be able to participate any further in this one.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Now for something completely different!
My ischial tuberosities hurt!!
After years of not riding my bike (it may have been well over 10) John and I went on a 6 mile historic tour put on by the Army Corp of Engineers. For us, since we biked to the visitor center and back, it was probably more like a 10 mile day. Which isn't bad on a bike.
It's just bad for your booty when it isn't used to sitting on a bike seat.
Ouch.
It was also a fun people watching exercise. This was a casual, open to all ages, slow going bike tour. And in our group (does there have to be one in every group?) was "that guy."
The guy who shows up in full out bike gear, with the shoes, and padded bike pants and bike jersey and know it all attitude. He was a douchbag. He was hilarious. (and no, he was not intending to be.)
He wanted to know if this was the second oldest house in the Quad Cities, or he wanted to be the guy who suggested they turn the Le Claire house into a museum, or he wanted to know inane details to prove how thoughtful and insightful he was. He had to be first, riding with the guide.
When the guide asked how the pace was, he says "When you hit 25 (mph?), I'll let you know." ("oooo, I'm so fast!")
An entertaining bit was when he had one shoe locked in his pedal and tried to get on the bike and ended up falling over, claiming (and cursing) that he got stuck in gravel. Okay, it did happen right in front of us, and yes, we asked him if he was okay, and helped him up. But there was no gravel around him. Mr. Expert Cyclist just misjudged something in his balance and fell over.
"That guy" also had to sit down at every stop because his fancy shoes hurt to stand in.
"That guy" also took his shoes off before the tour started (we ran a little late because not everyone was there and the bridge had opened, so we were waiting for people who had been delayed by the bridge), and was on his cell phone. Once we were ready to get started, the guide started talking and he shouts from the nearby bench to hang on a minute as he's still on the phone.
Douche. Bag.
However, there was also a very cute little old man who was familiar with post and the area and offered a great story about his father who had worked on the Arsenal during World War I. This was before they installed the Lock and Dam, so the river depth was shallow and rocky. He said the river would freeze over, and the workers could walk across the Mississippi to work at the Arsenal. He also said during dry summers, the water would be so low you could walk across it on the rocks jutting out!
Now, thanks to the Lock and Dam systems, they keep it at or above 9 ft deep. It keep the barge traffic happy.
Something else I learned was about our spinning bridge. Or as John says: "our bridge that frickin spins!"
There are many ways to allow boat traffic under low bridges.
Drawbridge, where the bridge divides in half (or not) and rises up.
The kind of bridge where an entire span of bridge rises high enough above the water.
And the kind that spins to allow traffic.
There may be other kinds. I'm not doing enough research on it. Mostly because I don't care and I don't need it to make my point. One thing, however, is that all of these methods impede the flow of traffic on the bridge to allow for traffic under the bridge.
Our bridge is special. It spins. It not only spins, but it can spin 360 degrees in both directions. Other spinning bridges can only go a certain number of degrees (some 90, some 180) and some can only open and close in one direction. (they open clockwise and close counter clockwise, but can't do the reverse)
This bridge is one of TWO in the whole WORLD! The other bridge like ours is in Germany.
Cool eh?
So I learned something today. That should be enough to soothe the ache of my booty.
After years of not riding my bike (it may have been well over 10) John and I went on a 6 mile historic tour put on by the Army Corp of Engineers. For us, since we biked to the visitor center and back, it was probably more like a 10 mile day. Which isn't bad on a bike.
It's just bad for your booty when it isn't used to sitting on a bike seat.
Ouch.
It was also a fun people watching exercise. This was a casual, open to all ages, slow going bike tour. And in our group (does there have to be one in every group?) was "that guy."
The guy who shows up in full out bike gear, with the shoes, and padded bike pants and bike jersey and know it all attitude. He was a douchbag. He was hilarious. (and no, he was not intending to be.)
He wanted to know if this was the second oldest house in the Quad Cities, or he wanted to be the guy who suggested they turn the Le Claire house into a museum, or he wanted to know inane details to prove how thoughtful and insightful he was. He had to be first, riding with the guide.
When the guide asked how the pace was, he says "When you hit 25 (mph?), I'll let you know." ("oooo, I'm so fast!")
An entertaining bit was when he had one shoe locked in his pedal and tried to get on the bike and ended up falling over, claiming (and cursing) that he got stuck in gravel. Okay, it did happen right in front of us, and yes, we asked him if he was okay, and helped him up. But there was no gravel around him. Mr. Expert Cyclist just misjudged something in his balance and fell over.
"That guy" also had to sit down at every stop because his fancy shoes hurt to stand in.
"That guy" also took his shoes off before the tour started (we ran a little late because not everyone was there and the bridge had opened, so we were waiting for people who had been delayed by the bridge), and was on his cell phone. Once we were ready to get started, the guide started talking and he shouts from the nearby bench to hang on a minute as he's still on the phone.
Douche. Bag.
However, there was also a very cute little old man who was familiar with post and the area and offered a great story about his father who had worked on the Arsenal during World War I. This was before they installed the Lock and Dam, so the river depth was shallow and rocky. He said the river would freeze over, and the workers could walk across the Mississippi to work at the Arsenal. He also said during dry summers, the water would be so low you could walk across it on the rocks jutting out!
Now, thanks to the Lock and Dam systems, they keep it at or above 9 ft deep. It keep the barge traffic happy.
Something else I learned was about our spinning bridge. Or as John says: "our bridge that frickin spins!"
There are many ways to allow boat traffic under low bridges.
Drawbridge, where the bridge divides in half (or not) and rises up.
 |
| These images are from a google image search. |
 |
| another google image gem. |
And the kind that spins to allow traffic.
 |
| Span closed |
 |
| Span open. These were taken by me with my cell phone while waiting for the span to close again. |
There may be other kinds. I'm not doing enough research on it. Mostly because I don't care and I don't need it to make my point. One thing, however, is that all of these methods impede the flow of traffic on the bridge to allow for traffic under the bridge.
Our bridge is special. It spins. It not only spins, but it can spin 360 degrees in both directions. Other spinning bridges can only go a certain number of degrees (some 90, some 180) and some can only open and close in one direction. (they open clockwise and close counter clockwise, but can't do the reverse)
This bridge is one of TWO in the whole WORLD! The other bridge like ours is in Germany.
Cool eh?
So I learned something today. That should be enough to soothe the ache of my booty.
Struggle struggle struggle breakthrough?
So, I believe things happen for a reason.
I also believe that when you are not in the know of the details that constitute this Universal reason, waiting around to discover it kind of sucks.
Ah, but it's all in the process, no?
So, I was chatting with a few friends. My bridesmaids, as a matter of fact, and quizzing them on what they think I would be well suited to do if I were to change careers.
You see, I've been frustrated. Owning my own practice was traumatizing and humbling, and, in some respects, a knock down on the 'ol self esteem pole. John has been a great support. He reminds me that success is defined in several ways and to remember all the people I helped and the lives I changed.
I helped a 5 week old baby regain her normal functions. Eating, sleeping and pooping. She was doing none of these things well, which turned her into a crying colicky baby. I adjusted her. She was happier. And so were her parents!
I brought a woman to tears after she realized that a) she could turn her head again and b) she didn't have to live in pain that she thought was a result of getting older. She hugged me so tightly, just so relieved to feel back to normal.
I helped a woman who had minor but irritating back pain get back into everything she loved nearly pain free...including camping and riding 4 wheelers.
I've helped people recover from car accidents.
I helped a lady manage (nearly eliminate until she went on meds for osteoporosis) her vertigo.
I helped an elderly woman be able to enjoy her daily walks again. She previously had stopped due to arthritis pain. When she saw me, the pain was lessened, and she wanted to walk again.
I helped a woman who had severe headaches that interfered with her life at least every other week be headache free for years.
I still get emails from patients who write that they miss me.
I'm not a bad doctor. I'm a good doctor in a quirky profession. I'm not going to air out my grievances that I've experienced being a chiropractor or a chiropractor in Colorado. (location does matter.) Without my knowledge that I acquired as a chiropractor, I would not have been able to do these things. And every profession has it's downside.
I just wanted to highlight this struggle I have encountered. Things were not as I imagined once I graduated, and for the first time in a long time, I have had to deal with failure. It's not something I do well. But what is a Doctor of Chiropractic to do if not be a chiropractor?
The most desirable thing (to me) is to teach. I'm not even sure how hard it would be to break into teaching at community colleges, but I'm looking into it. At some point, I would like to teach at a chiropractic college. The energy at a chiropractic college is amazing!
More importantly, once I started talking (okay, instant messaging) my girlfriends about what I should do with my life did the real heart of the matter rise to the surface. I was in tears, and thinking of practicing again made my heart hurt. There was an intense fear of further failure. I managed to salvage my practice in some way, but I was in no way successful if you look at it from the business perspective. So I wasn't really anxious about doing it again.
And that's the thing about identifying the mysterious obstacle. It ceases to be an obstacle. This feeling of fear was recognized and acknowledged and put down after months (years?) of carrying it around.
And things started to happen. I found a possible opportunity to practice again, and possibly in a way where I could practice within an establishment and have much of the hairy business details left to someone else. It's an opportunity I thought was not available, but things happened and they lined up differently.
It was like it was waiting for me to be ready for it.
Which I appreciate.
The other, completely zen like quality to this opportunity is that I have no attachment to it. It very well may not work out due to administration details. And that's okay.
I was mostly just shocked that I was looking forward to practicing again when a few months ago I wondered if I would ever practice again. Or, more importantly, ever want to practice again. Which is something I hadn't expected to feel until 20 years into my career. If then.
So, we shall see.
All this worry from me since I haven't worked in 4 1/2 months, and it turns out, I needed the time off.
Apparently it's all about perspective.
I also believe that when you are not in the know of the details that constitute this Universal reason, waiting around to discover it kind of sucks.
Ah, but it's all in the process, no?
So, I was chatting with a few friends. My bridesmaids, as a matter of fact, and quizzing them on what they think I would be well suited to do if I were to change careers.
You see, I've been frustrated. Owning my own practice was traumatizing and humbling, and, in some respects, a knock down on the 'ol self esteem pole. John has been a great support. He reminds me that success is defined in several ways and to remember all the people I helped and the lives I changed.
I helped a 5 week old baby regain her normal functions. Eating, sleeping and pooping. She was doing none of these things well, which turned her into a crying colicky baby. I adjusted her. She was happier. And so were her parents!
I brought a woman to tears after she realized that a) she could turn her head again and b) she didn't have to live in pain that she thought was a result of getting older. She hugged me so tightly, just so relieved to feel back to normal.
I helped a woman who had minor but irritating back pain get back into everything she loved nearly pain free...including camping and riding 4 wheelers.
I've helped people recover from car accidents.
I helped a lady manage (nearly eliminate until she went on meds for osteoporosis) her vertigo.
I helped an elderly woman be able to enjoy her daily walks again. She previously had stopped due to arthritis pain. When she saw me, the pain was lessened, and she wanted to walk again.
I helped a woman who had severe headaches that interfered with her life at least every other week be headache free for years.
I still get emails from patients who write that they miss me.
I'm not a bad doctor. I'm a good doctor in a quirky profession. I'm not going to air out my grievances that I've experienced being a chiropractor or a chiropractor in Colorado. (location does matter.) Without my knowledge that I acquired as a chiropractor, I would not have been able to do these things. And every profession has it's downside.
I just wanted to highlight this struggle I have encountered. Things were not as I imagined once I graduated, and for the first time in a long time, I have had to deal with failure. It's not something I do well. But what is a Doctor of Chiropractic to do if not be a chiropractor?
The most desirable thing (to me) is to teach. I'm not even sure how hard it would be to break into teaching at community colleges, but I'm looking into it. At some point, I would like to teach at a chiropractic college. The energy at a chiropractic college is amazing!
More importantly, once I started talking (okay, instant messaging) my girlfriends about what I should do with my life did the real heart of the matter rise to the surface. I was in tears, and thinking of practicing again made my heart hurt. There was an intense fear of further failure. I managed to salvage my practice in some way, but I was in no way successful if you look at it from the business perspective. So I wasn't really anxious about doing it again.
And that's the thing about identifying the mysterious obstacle. It ceases to be an obstacle. This feeling of fear was recognized and acknowledged and put down after months (years?) of carrying it around.
And things started to happen. I found a possible opportunity to practice again, and possibly in a way where I could practice within an establishment and have much of the hairy business details left to someone else. It's an opportunity I thought was not available, but things happened and they lined up differently.
It was like it was waiting for me to be ready for it.
Which I appreciate.
The other, completely zen like quality to this opportunity is that I have no attachment to it. It very well may not work out due to administration details. And that's okay.
I was mostly just shocked that I was looking forward to practicing again when a few months ago I wondered if I would ever practice again. Or, more importantly, ever want to practice again. Which is something I hadn't expected to feel until 20 years into my career. If then.
So, we shall see.
All this worry from me since I haven't worked in 4 1/2 months, and it turns out, I needed the time off.
Apparently it's all about perspective.
Crushed
So, I'm married, right?
("Right.")
It's a very comfy marriage thus far, about 4 months in. We coexist peacefully and snuggle deeply and enjoy each other's warmth, comfort and company. (Unless one of us ahem is stealing the covers and aforementioned warmth. One of us not being me.)
All cover hogs aside, I love it. I wouldn't trade it. For anything. Not even....
Flirting.
Although I miss flirting. I miss it a great deal. Oh sure, us married fuddy duddies flirt and sweet talk each other, but it's in such an obvious, mushy mushy way. I do love that too...but what I'm referring to here is that flirting experience where you don't know what's going to happen next and you're still trying to read between the lines of a cute boy's niceties, and the "what ifs" are flowing steadily hidden behind shy smiles and uneven heart beats.
I didn't recognize how much I missed it until I dreamed of it last night.
It helps that the cute boy flirting with me was Justin Timberlake. I woke up all atwitter. And with a mild crush on Justin Timberlake that didn't really exist before. (See? Do you see the tricks my mind can play?)
Then I rolled over and snuggled my very own cute boy. Talk about the best of both worlds.
("Right.")
It's a very comfy marriage thus far, about 4 months in. We coexist peacefully and snuggle deeply and enjoy each other's warmth, comfort and company. (Unless one of us ahem is stealing the covers and aforementioned warmth. One of us not being me.)
All cover hogs aside, I love it. I wouldn't trade it. For anything. Not even....
Flirting.
Although I miss flirting. I miss it a great deal. Oh sure, us married fuddy duddies flirt and sweet talk each other, but it's in such an obvious, mushy mushy way. I do love that too...but what I'm referring to here is that flirting experience where you don't know what's going to happen next and you're still trying to read between the lines of a cute boy's niceties, and the "what ifs" are flowing steadily hidden behind shy smiles and uneven heart beats.
I didn't recognize how much I missed it until I dreamed of it last night.
It helps that the cute boy flirting with me was Justin Timberlake. I woke up all atwitter. And with a mild crush on Justin Timberlake that didn't really exist before. (See? Do you see the tricks my mind can play?)
Then I rolled over and snuggled my very own cute boy. Talk about the best of both worlds.
Friday, October 15, 2010
My poor lay friends
I totally judge you when you talk about unhealthy stuff, even though I, myself often partake in unhealthy activities.
I had lunch with my friend today.
(I say that as if she's my only one!)
She was talking about going to a tanning place before her beach vacation. And she *knows* it's bad for her, but she doesn't want to get burned the first day of vacation.
All I can think of is "CANCER! CANCER! CANCER!" and "Just wear some sunscreen! You'll still get tan!"
But I just smile and nod. I don't know her well enough to lecture her with my vast knowledge of health and the human body.
And BTW, most of my unhealthy activities come in the form of sugar and butter.
More later about the folks visit, as well as career choices. Or crises. Depending on your perspective.
I had lunch with my friend today.
(I say that as if she's my only one!)
She was talking about going to a tanning place before her beach vacation. And she *knows* it's bad for her, but she doesn't want to get burned the first day of vacation.
All I can think of is "CANCER! CANCER! CANCER!" and "Just wear some sunscreen! You'll still get tan!"
But I just smile and nod. I don't know her well enough to lecture her with my vast knowledge of health and the human body.
And BTW, most of my unhealthy activities come in the form of sugar and butter.
More later about the folks visit, as well as career choices. Or crises. Depending on your perspective.
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